tvvink:

don’t forget the four h’s of puberty kids!

hungry

horny

hideous

horribly depressed

guy:

when the artist u hate releases a catchy song

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"Are you the SAT because I’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a 10 minute break halfway through for snacks, and then I can stare at you for like 10 minutes and think ‘wow, I hope I don’t ruin this.’"
- Dude on OKC with the best pick up lines I have ever heard (via katamarang)
710642:

well? can he????

710642:

well? can he????

snorlaxatives:

me: *eats cookie dough*

some weak ass person: “you’ll get salmonella poisoning!!!” 

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highbrowandbeard:

THIS IS MY NEW FAVOURITE LINE

proportioned-prospitians:

I like my men like I like my maple syrup 

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Which superhero name would you give yourself if you weren’t Captain America and the Black Widow?

echat:

sometimes i’m drinking something and i can feel it spilling on me but i just keep drinking because i don’t care about anything anymore

ant0rm:

tumblr should have some kind of “you already reblogged this” warning

novelteathought:

strivingking:

When you’re feeling down and out, REAL friends be like

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okay but the guy in blue gets up and hold onto the back of the red guys shirt like a small child or perhaps a duckling

sarakobus:

Had this cutie at work tonight. He just learned how to pick up his ears 😍